When We Dead Awaken
The thudding in the mausoleum soundsinside us. We lie buried in it's wallsand frantic. Does the keeper of the groundshear anything? A whirling calyx falls.Convexities of coffin bloom with...
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Hi Les, Is this a description of a dream? Well, I'm not a long time sonnetteer, but I miss something like a volta in your poem. The story goes from A to B with no surprising change of thoughts...
View ArticleRe: When We Dead Awaken
this is reminiscent of the Tarot card, Judgement. Was that your intention?I got your thing about the tulips before you explained it by the wa, and I should really say this on that thread, but my...
View ArticleRe: When We Dead Awaken
Hi Ruth,This poem wasn't written with anything more in mind than "the surface horror thing" but you have given me a few new directions to consider."Convex" is the opposite of "concave" which you may...
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Les, I won't comment on the content because I'm frankly not sure what you're trying to get across and many things that are clear to others completely elude me. The imagery is powerful and well done. I...
View ArticleRe: When We Dead Awaken
Hi pg,I think it works "to effect" in that the line breaks and scatters the iambic rhythm of the sonnet. I still consider every attempt at a sonnet an experiment and a stepping stone in my...
View ArticleRe: When We Dead Awaken
Les,This well executed, but it has too much of Poe, or not enough!A sonnet is too short to build up tension and fear, and iambic pentameter doesn't have the cadence needed for a chant. I'd chalk it up...
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